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* a b u s e L i n k * send an e-mail to yaoiroommates@yahoo.co.jp Konichi
wa Nabooru, Kotake and my Finky Link!!!
~~~~ Kotake:
Goodness! I say
goodness, by the goddesses! We haven't had third party offers for torturing link
in what must have been eons. You are truly a very unselfish and generous person
for still caring about him! I'm sure your whipping will bring a lot of
excitement and diversity to his otherwise unimaginably rotten life. It's rotten
as my teeth i tell you! Frankly Nabooru and I have discovered a wonderful new
occupation in playing animal crossing which left us little time to torture Link
properly, so we just chained him up in ganondorf's dirty underused bathroom with
nothing but a saw for cutting through his limbs if he wants to escape and his
pony Epona as a snack. Don't worry though, if he has become limbless by now
we'll just send you another one of his clones.
~~~~
Nabooru :
Grandes peitos! We haven't got fanmail since Kotake and I received our last letter from Darunai, and he has turned completely mute since the party he held with Link.Some rumors tell that the tribe leader and all of his servant Gorons got ridiculously drunk after giving Link some goron spoons and that they decided to take a party dive in the Death Mountain crater for celebration.
Anyway Link remains
completely silent on the matter, not even when Kotake and I raise the pain
level to let's say, 10! To answer one of your questions. Although I think only
a woman like ME can experience the ultimate kind of pain worthy of a ten, and
that is of course the pain during periods. Sweet ovula of Nayru! All my
muscles are bulging from the pain right now in fact. At any other time I find
great enjoyment in torturing Link every minute of the day, but I don't even
know who is in more pain when I do it at these times such as these..
Kotake:
Heehee, I'm laughing now because seeing Nabooru having a woman's ache makes me feel middle-aged again. Anyway about Link, I'm sure he has something to do with the extinction of the Goron race even if it was just a lie made up by someone *cackles* Yes I think it's time for him to get some good grades on a 1 to 10 scale right now, where are you Link? Please tell us how much pain you go through daily.
Link:
..uhm maybe 7
Kotake:
What? Only 7! Even with the spiky broomstick punch? *hits *
Link:
:"| 7.5?
Kotake
Heehee Link you are such a stupid boy, telling us that you can have at least 2.5 damage more. We're really opting for the best results here, I think you could use some MISTER ZUNARI fishing hook torture.
Link:
Nooo!! I meant 10/10 X( I can't calculate all that well or count for that matter. Don't expose me to mister Zunari please!
Nabooru:
Oh that is such a splendid idea Kotake! It will sure teach Link not to lie about his grades! That twirp is nothing like my dear closest sibling Tom Sawyer, his eyes always sparkle with honesty like his toes blink with kindness. Oh dear Kotake we mustn't forget to buy him a present for clipping his toenails last week once I feel a bit better! He was really attached to them even if they sometimes pierced through people.
You won't forget now will you Link *winks his stony eye* next weekend is our private little party at the death mountain crater! Be sure not to miss, I'll try to get my hands on biggorons zebra-striped string so I have something nice to show you ;) Leader of the Goron race, ~~~~
Kotake:
OH Darunia sexy hunk, you have such great taste for style! I think stripes
underwear really make you look even wider and more masculine than before! ~swoons~
If you watch the chubby hangbelly of Hi there Link ^_^ (piss off stupid sages ~_~)
Sorry for bothering you,
you must be very busy saving Hyrule and everything, but I've got question I'd
like to ask you.
Uhm.. you know who Harry
Potter is right? I was wondering what could be the Hero of Time's favorite
character from Rowling's books? My guess is that it must be Harry himself,
because well.. he's the main character of the series so he kind of is in the
same situation as you, there's not that much difference between hogward and
hyrule you know? E.g. Snape is not so different from ganondorf personality
wise ;) I'm sure he would give you some magical torture as well teehee ^^" So,
I'm gonna tell you something embarrassing now, my favorite character from the
series has to be Lupus! Yes I know he's totally gay but that's exactly what I
like about him, how about you and him pairing up and make some magic ;) hehee
*hugs*
Hermoine chan
~~~~
Kotake:Hello hermoine chan,
Heya Link, it's me TOM SAWYER ^_^
yer bud from
mississpipi, yahoooo! ~~~~ Nabooru: hey
Tom Sawyer, nice to hear from you again. Did you enjoy the trip we made? And I
am very very sorry you already had the Kenshin DVD. I will buy you another 30
DVD's to make it up to you, kay? I forced your friend Link to read your letter
for about 50 times, untill he had to cry so much that even I, Nabooru who is
used to his sad crying, could't hear what he was saying. Ofcourse, I just let
Kotake use her broomstick again to teach Link some discipline. Maybe next time
you could just tape your message so Link can hear your beautful happy voice over
and over again. He would really appriciate that! You can also send some dandruff
from your foothairs so Link can even smell you
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