* t h e m o r o n o f t i m e

* T h e L e g e n d o f Z e l d a :

t h e M o r o n o f T i m e*

chapter one: the Moron of Time

Navi can you bring me my glasses please’ The Great Deku tree yelled.
‘Why are you yelling Great Deku Tree’ Navi asked.
‘I’m cursed you fuckhead there is a Big Spider in me and it’s EATING me stupid it hurts’ The Deku Tree yelled.
‘Okay….which glasses you want?’ Navi asked again.
‘Uh, bring me the one that helps me see trough people’s underwear’ The Great Deku Tree yelled.
‘Well I don’t think..’ Navi said.
‘I don’t PAY you to think I pay you to help me’ The Great Deku Tree yelled.
‘Forget the glasses get the stupid kid without a fairy that I’m using all my powers on so he doesn’t transforms into a stalfos in this stupid forest’ he yelled.

Navi flied to the Kokiri Forest.
‘Flying, Flying like a princess’ Navi thought.
She wasn’t watching and out of nowhere a Kokiri appeared with a baseball bat and slammed Navi away.
‘HOMERUN’ the Kokiri shouted, ‘I’m so good well I’m going back to my house’.

‘What are you doing here I said you had to find the stupid kid without a fairy’ The Great Deku Tree yelled.
‘I have a mayor bump on my head and you don’t even say “are you okay” ’Navi shouted.
‘Okay what you want are you okay?’ The Great Deku Tree yelled.
‘NO what do you think I just got slammed by a stupid Kokiri why do you ask it stupid if you know I have a bump on my HEAD’ Navi screamed.
‘Ugh…you asked for it stupid now go find the Kokiri’ The Deku Tree shouted.

Navi flied for the second time to the Kokiri Forest but now she only had her eyes on the road.
When she entered the Forest she thought that all the Fairies would be nice to her and saying Hello and Hi…well she was right they all said Hi and Hello.
She hovered above the ground and asked a Kokiri where she could find the Kokiri without a fairy.
‘Ow… I know you are talking about Link yes he doesn’t have a fairy but who cares he is the best baseball player in our forest…well nobody plays baseball so that isn’t that hard, but he always uses Fairy’s that are flying alone, he just slammed another one it was funny what a stupid fairy that.. not like my little Bella no she is perfect she is pretty’ The girl was telling but Navi flied away.
‘O boy what an ass I think the boy and me will be good friends o yea mister hits me and now I have to be his fairy’ she thought.
She flied to a little house in the corner of the Forest.
‘I think he lives there’ she thought when she was passing a Gigantic board with a big arrow that said “Here lives the Boy without a Fairy” and a few houses later there was another one that said “you are flying wrong miss Fairy”.

She entered the house and she saw I boy lying on the ground with a baseball bat.
‘Ha I know that I was right’ she thought.
‘Hey boy with the baseball bat come here I have to say something to you’ Navi said.
He turned around and she saw that he was really drunk.
‘Look what I found’ he said and he showed her a paper.
‘Don’t tell me your Link’ Navi said
‘No I’m Mido Link lives in the house that says “Saria is my Girlfriend and Mido is a ass that never could be so pretty as me” ‘ Mido said.
Navi fell on the ground hitting her bump.
‘DAMN THIS STUPID FOREST I’M SO OUT’ she shouted and flew outside.

‘He pretty one’ some one said.
Navi turned around and saw the boy that slammed her and next to him a Girl with green hear was holding his hand.
‘WHAT DID YOU CALL ME’ Navi shouted.
‘I wasn’t talking to you but to Saria’ the boy said.
‘Who are you anyway’ Navi asked.
‘Uh… what was my name again uh… girl that is holding my arm’ the boy said.
‘Its Link and my name is Saria moron’ Saria said, ‘you just said that moron’.
‘Yes that’s true I knew that’ Link said.
‘Now beautiful take this 20 Rupees and go buy yourself something pretty the little fairy was searching for me that girl over there told me’ Link said and he pointed to the girl that was talking to tree about how pretty her fairy is.
‘Link that’s enough I can’t take it anymore I’m going to Mido’ Saria said.
‘What you say’ Link said.
‘I’m going to Mido and without me your just stupid you don’t have your brains anymore’ Saria said and walked away.
She walked away and the moment she entered Mido’s house Link started to lose his ‘smartness’ and he was stupid.
‘You got to be kidding me man’ Navi said
‘Here take this and follow me you stupid’ She said and she gave a sword and a shield.

Okay follow me to the Deku Tree you brainless sucker.

to part 2