* T h e  L e g e n d  o f  Z e l d a :

t h e  M o r o n  o f  T i m e*

by Idiot of Time - denno12@hotmail.com

chapter four: Goron City and Dodongo

Navi and Link walked through Hyrule Field but they stopped a moment next to a sign.
‘Well Link I think we should walk to that stairs over there so we can enter the city’ Navi said.
‘How do you know there is a city there are mountains’ Link asked.
‘Link’ Navi said and she pointed to the sign, ‘what does that say?’
‘Uh it doesn’t say anything it just a sign it can’t talk’ Link said.
‘Your one of the biggest idiot if ever seen read the sign!’ Navi shouted.
‘Uh egalliv okirakak’ Link said, ‘and it points that way’ and Link pointed to the clouds.
Navi fell on the ground.
‘Turn your head stupid what does it say now?’ Navi asked.
‘Kokiri Forest’ Link said.
Navi slammed Link really hard.
‘NO it says Kakariko Village and it points to the stairs your such an idiot’ Navi said and they stared walking again.

They Finally entered Kakariko Village and they walked straight to the guard that was blocking the way to Death Mountain.
‘Can we enter the road’ Navi asked.
‘No’ The guard said.
‘Why can’t we enter it’ Navi asked.
‘No’ the guard said again.
‘Can you say anything else then no’ Navi asked.
‘No’ the guard replied.
‘Is your dick really big?’ Link asked.
‘No’ the guard said.
‘LINK DON’T SAY SUCH WORDS ARE YOU NUTS!’ Navi shouted.
‘No’ Link said.
‘O my Triforce I’m going nuts here’ Navi said and again she fell on the ground.
‘Why can’t we enter please say it’ Navi asked.
The guard lowered his eyes to Link.
‘You don’t have a Hylian Shield go to the bazaar and buy it, it only cost 100 rupees’ the guard said.
‘100 RUPEES!!!’ Navi yelled.
‘Yea but you can buy it from me for 1 rupee’ some guy said.
‘Who are you’ Navi asked.
‘I’m the Happy Mask Sales Man I sell masks’ The Happy Mask Sales Man said.
‘Uh you sell mask how can you sell us ,well stupid over there (she pointed at Link), a shield’ Navi asked.
‘Uh… uh… o damn’ The Happy Mask Sales Man said and he threw a Hylian Shield on the ground and he walked away.
Link walked to the shield.
After a few minutes Link didn’t do a thing and he was still standing before the shield.
‘Now Link pick it up’ Navi said.
‘How?’ Link asked.
Navi didn’t say a thing and flow away.
‘Navi look I can pick it up don’t go please’ Link yelled.
‘Okay I give you 1 last change DON’T do anything stupid otherwise I’m so out’ Navi said calmly and flied back to Link.

When they walked to the guard he was drinking a soda so Navi and Link could walk past him without any trouble.
They were walking via the mountain path to Death Mountain until they saw a cave were a sign was standing.
‘Okay here is Goron City we should go to Darunia the leader of Goron City’ Navi told Link.
They entered Goron City and walked to a beautiful chamber where a strong Goron was crying.
‘Why!! Why o why’ the Goron said with tears in his eyes.
‘What is it?’ a small Goron asked.
‘My son…is..’ the Goron cries.
‘Is what Darunia’ the small Goron asked.
‘He is a shoe salesman…and he only gets 4 rupees a month’ the Goron said while cried.
‘Cough Cough’ Navi coughed.
‘What is it?’ Darunia asked but he was still sniffing.
‘You are Darunia Leader of Goron City and you have the Goron Ruby?’ Navi asked.
‘Uh yes I think so…but my son is a shoe salesman!’ Darunia cried.
‘Mister Darunia’ A big Goron said.
‘Yes what is it’ Darunia asked.
‘You don’t have a son’ the big Goron said.
‘Well at least there is someone that has a brain’ Navi thought.
‘Well what do you two want from me’ Darunia asked.
‘We want your Goron Ruby and otherwise we will kill your son’ Link shouted.
‘LEAVE MY SON ALONE!’ Darunia screamed.
‘Link can you follow me to the room over there?’ Navi asked.
While walking all Gorons were whistling and saying ‘get her you can do it you’re the man’ and Link had a big smile and walked
in the chamber with Navi.
‘Heh that boy has some luck you know’ a Goron said to his Goron friend.
‘Yea he…whats that sound’ a Goron said and he there was a lot of slamming,- and punching,- and kicking,- and screaming,-
sounds coming out of the room.
When the door opened again Link came out walking really slow and he had a blue eye a few broken ribs and his legs had a lot
of scratches on them.
‘Crap’ one of the Gorons said, ‘The fairy totally kicked his butt’.
‘And if one of you just thinks about those things I will and I will give you the same reward and idiot next to me’ Navi said
really angry.
‘NOW WHERE IS THE DAMN STONE’ Navi shouted to Darunia.
‘O I have it’ Darunia said, ‘but I’m not giving it to you’.
‘What... can’t we make…’Navi tried to say something but she got interrupted by Darunia.
‘If you can defeat Dodongo and give us our food back I can give you the stone’ Darunia said.
‘I have a cookie!’ Link said.
‘Link dear, I mean this, THERE IS NO TIME FOR A COOKIE NOW!’ Navi shouted.
‘If you go to the big rock that’s blocking a cave if you can get it away you can enter the cave but now I have to go to my
son he is a shoe salesman’ Darunia said.
‘FOR THE LAST TIME YOU DON’T HAVE A SON’ the big Goron shouted.
‘Lets get out of here’ Navi said, and she and Link walked out of Goron City.

The big rock wasn’t hard to miss only there was a big problem how could they get the boulder out of the way.
‘I thought I would never ask this but Link do you have any idea’s?’ Navi asked.
‘I had to much owl o, to much owl’ Link said and he looked really awful.
‘Link no please don’t do that, Link no not that’ Navi said but it was to late.
Link lowered his pants and he let a major fart with the sound like some one was blowing on a gigantic horn, and because of
the sound the rock broke in pieces.
‘Man don’t ever eat owl again what a smell’ Navi said, ’well you broke the stone so I guess we should go to the Dodongo guy’.
When the entered the cave Link saw something shiny.
‘SHINY!! It’s a shiny chest’ Link walked to it he opened it and Link picked something out of it and it exploded in his face.
‘Link are you okay? What is it?’ Navi asked.
‘It’s blowing up fantasy machine!’ Link said extremely happy.
‘Not the Fantasy Machine again’ Navi thought.
Link was really happy with his new ‘blowing up fantasy machine’ what were bombs but he didn’t know that, but he wasn’t
watching and he was walking to a big hole’.
‘Link look…crap’ Navi said when she saw Link falling into the hole.
‘Well I think I should follow him’ Navi thought and she flied into the hole.

When Navi saw the ground she saw Link lying there next to a giant pit of lava.
‘Hey Spongebob can you help me with something’ some one asked.
‘What is it Mister Crabs’ Spongebob said.
‘Do you know how much 1+1 is?’ Mister Crabs asked.
‘Whahahahaha of course I know that not so hard its 5’ Spongebob said.
‘WHAHAHAHA Spongebob is such a sucker its 9 o he is so stupid’ A Gigantic Dinosaur that was drinking a beer and was sitting
in a giant chair.
‘Well it’s 2 you know’ Navi said.
‘And who are you?’ The Dinosaur asked.
‘I’m Navi and this is Link and you are Dodongo I think?’ Navi said.
‘I prefer King Dodongo... uh why is your little friend watching on my television?’ Dodongo asked.
‘It’s big… and shiny…pretty colors’ Link said and he was drooling.
‘He likes shiny colors, well we are here to destroy you why do I always have to say that a well so we are here to fight with
you so that the Gorons can take there food back again’ Navi explained.
‘O not again let me put out my television and then we can fight’ King Dodongo said and he putted the television off.
Out of no where giant letters appeared that spelled Infernal Dinosaur: King Dodongo and a new music started playing.
‘He put the television off Navi now there aren’t any shiny colors left’ Link said and he started crying.
But then something happened what Link and Navi didn’t expect Dodongo turned around and he let a major flame fart.
‘DUCK!’ Navi screamed.
‘Where!’ Link asked.
‘Link there is no duck here you have to duck stupid’ Navi said but Link was put on fire.
‘Crap, Link start rolling and start screaming like a little girl’ Navi said and Link started doing that.
‘Now do the chicken dance’ Dodongo said and Link started dancing.
‘Hey this is fun you know’ Navi said to Dodongo.
‘Yes, now make 5 back flips on Deku scrub’ Dodongo said, and Link jumped out up to the hole and after a few minutes he was
back with a Deku scrub and he made five back flips.
‘Now swim through lake Hylia and come back and put yourself on fire again’ Navi said and Link jumped up through the hole
after a few minutes he came back socked and then he tried to put himself on fire again.
‘Navi it doesn’t work I’m to wet’ Link said, what should I do now how can I put the flames out.
‘Link you just did’ Navi said.
Dodongo turned around again ready to make a new fart.
‘Link take a bomb and throw it in his butt’ Navi yelled.
Link took a bomb out of his bag that started to glow automatically but he tripped and the bomb exploded in his face he got
blasted up hit the ceiling and his fell with his head in Dodongo’s butt.
‘Get out of it get out get out…o crap’ Dodongo screamed and he farted he blasted Link out of his butt but Dodongo’s head was
blasted off by the major force of his fart.
‘I did it, I did it, I did it’ Link said and he was smiling, ‘ I killed Dodongo, and Navi didn’t do that’.
‘Just step into the light so we can get our stone’ Navi said and she and Link got warped to outside.

‘You guys did it here have the Goron Ruby’ Darunia said when he was waiting out side and he saw that Link and Navi appeared.
‘Now give me a big Goron hug’ he said and he walked to Link, ‘ wait you smell funny o my Din get lost go away and never come
back with that smell again’ Darunia yelled and he ran back to Goron City.
‘What about my hug’ Link said depressed.

to part 5